


Wind and Smoke

by dorking



Series: McReyes shorts [4]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Blackwatch Era, Canon-Typical Violence, M/M, Mild Abuse, angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-16
Updated: 2017-02-16
Packaged: 2018-09-24 19:23:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9781613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dorking/pseuds/dorking
Summary: "Why'd you have to go and make shit so difficult" Jesse murmured, watching the diluted blood from his mouth drip into the porcelain basin.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I kind of wanted to explore more of Jesse's POV in this story. I should also mention both Jesse and Gabriel have somewhat biased (kind of unreliable?) narratives in this series.

 

People had always told Jesse McCree he was like the wind; going where he pleased, unconcerned about destruction left in his wake. As though he was perceptible through the environment around him, but never wholly tangible. Maybe Jesse McCree was only a person in theory. Maybe there was something missing in his conceptualization. Perhaps he was a little broken, or twisted; like the apathy of nature, McCree was unsympathetic and hardened as a way of life.

He couldn't be held down.

If Jesse McCree was an uncaring breeze, Gabriel Reyes was like smoke from a gun.

Gabriel was heavy, lingering, deadly. He could make your eyes sting, and you could smell him on your clothes; he always had substance. Gabriel burned inside with a passion, albeit often misdirected. Still, he could stand on his own.

It just took a certain gust of wind to blow him apart.

* * *

 

Jesse McCree was deciding if he should stitch his forehead. He could still hardly believe the company he'd just received. Although he wasn't terribly shaken, his body was still pumped with adrenaline; his fingers visibly unsteady. He'd seen plenty of gunfire, but it wasn't everyday that he personally stared down a muzzle...much less the muzzle of his ex-boss' gun. Jesse hissed, gingerly dabbing his fingers over the gash splitting his skin; blood had dried in his hair. He'd already treated the wound with a little of his whiskey, alcohol should sterilize it right? 

"Dammit", it just kept gushing, as head wounds do. Liking to avoid getting himself out to some real help, Jesse rifled through his cabinet for some suitable bandages. Coming up with nothing, he tore a clean shirt sleeve and applied decent pressure as he wrapped his head. It was awkward, and he wasn't looking forward to using his mending kit to later suture the cut. His cheek was swollen, both eyes turning blue. Reaper did a number on his face.

Jesse sighed over the sink. He wasn't normally so quick on his feet when it came to words, still he knew what would get Reyes below the belt. Of course Jesse had been honest, but emotional manipulation was a low blow. It did give him hope that the Gabriel he knew was still somewhere under that mask, on the other hand.

"Why'd you have to go and make shit so difficult" Jesse murmured, watching the diluted blood from his mouth drip into the porcelain basin.

 

* * *

 

Reyes was going on about Morrison, again. Jesse had had enough.

"Will you just shut your trap? I swear if you mention Morrison again one more fuckin' time Gabriel", Jesse stuck his finger in Reyes' face for poignancy, only to have it swatted away.

The older man was surprised, eyebrows pressed together "What's your problem?"

Jesse leaned back against Gabriel's door, "I don't want none of it. None of this loony in-fighting between Blackwatch and Overwatch", Jesse scowled finishing in a seething retort "It ain't my fight. I'm through, boss."

The momentary silence was thick enough to fog the room. "I thought you, of all people, would understand, McCree. Why won't you just join me?" Gabriel's voice prickled with thorns, a low menacing growl. Jesse broke eye-contact, "I don't owe you that", his arms crossed. Gabriel mulled over the response, his dark skin deepening with red, "I just thought-"

"-well you thought wrong" Jesse reached for the knob, but Reyes grabbed his wrist to stop him. Jesse immediately jerked away, unsuccessfully, eyes wide and staring as Gabriel drew closer. 

"I love you"

Jesse glowered, "I don't owe you a damn thing Reyes"

"I love you, Jesse"

Jesse McCree began to panic, a cold sweat beading down his temple "Don't put that on me. Don't put that love on me". Reyes withdrew momentarily, only to force his body closer to Jesse, physically trying to intimidate the younger man,

"Don't do this, Jesse, please"

McCree could feel his lungs burning with each breath, "I didn't ask for this", like a deer in the headlights, "I didn't ask for your love". It was the first time Reyes witnessed the gunslinger lose his cool.

"What's gotten into you?"

Jesse began to struggle violently, too late to be aware of how Reyes had pinned him to the door, "I didn't fuckin' ask for this. I didn't. I never told you to say those things". McCree was reeling, eyes darting anywhere.

He saw the memory of his mother smiling in the truck.

The memory of her shot in the head.

That was when Reyes struck him in the jaw, knocking Jesse to the side before catching him forcefully in his grip. Jesse visibly shrank away from the assault, eyes glossy; they were focused in another time and place. Gabriel grabbed Jesse's cheeks in one hand, his face dangerously close to the cowboys.

"I fucking _made_ you. You are mine." Gabriel kissed Jesse hard on the mouth, teeth breaking skin. He could feel McCree's hand trembling on his chest.

Pulling away, the heat of the moment now cooling, Jesse was clearly paled "You're a crazy fucker Reyes, whatever you have in mind is not going to go well for you" he whispered, face full of fear and disbelief.

Gabriel relented, taking a few steps back, realizing what he'd done.

"Hell, get some perspective and we'll talk", Jesse slammed the door on his way out, still unable to catch his breath. It wasn't until he got back to his own room that he crumpled to the floor. He could have handled that better. But damn.

He'd been trying, Jesse thought he could do it for Gabriel. His eyes began to sting, "Aw...shit". He'd really lost his cool.

Crawling, Jesse went for the bottle of bourbon under his bed; he didn't know how to cope any other way. The truth was that Jesse McCree didn't know how to love anyone. All he knew was that love was a painful thing, and never to trust the people who said it. Gabriel could say it a thousand, a million times; Jesse didn't know _how to feel loved_ by anyone.

The prospect was terrifying.

All he knew was self preservation. How to avoid attachment. Jesse felt like a coward; he'd run away with his tail between his legs. There was an ugly, deep, void within him for only Gabriel to witness. 

Now they were both victim to that.

Jesse packed his things and blew out of Overwatch HQ that night, unable to face Gabriel's inevitable downfall, unable to talk things through; all too consumed and ashamed of his own shortcomings within the sordid affair.

* * *

Jesse McCree always avoided kissing on the mouth. Too intimate. Deadlock had taught him better uses for it after all.

He knew he caught the sight of his commander; definitely a dangerous courtship, but he couldn't help himself. Even with Reyes' efforts to hide his tells, hands lingering too long, wayward side glances and eye contact; McCree wouldn't let the man escape that easy. Gabriel was attractive, strong willed, and most of all he had Jesse's admiration. The man had given him a second chance at living, twice now. He knew he'd gladly get down on his knees for Gabriel, the thought of a satisfying fuck in the future. 

The first time Reyes said the words, Jesse felt like he'd been sucker punched; like all the breath in his body had floated away.

_"I love you"_

Jesse was positive he'd heard incorrectly. On the other hand, Gabriel only spent words on things he meant. This wasn't just another roll in the hay. The idea tasted sour. McCree thought, perhaps, if he accepted it at face value he could feel the same.

The reality was that Jesse knew he wasn't capable of letting himself care _that way_. His mind would warp any advance into some cruel attack, something negative. Love was always bitter business.

In hindsight, it was at that moment he'd began pulling away from Reyes.

 

* * *

  
Jesse McCree was searching his house for a sewing kit; he knew his mother kept one around when she was alive. It was unlikely Joel McCree, Jesse's father, had moved it. Jesse thought of the last exchange he'd shared with Reyes before this particularly surprise encounter. He made himself look like such a fool, like a scared little mutt unable to handle the mess he made. 

He wasn't the only one at fault, however. Maybe he'd been too critical of Gabriel but then again, look at how the man snapped under pressure. Jesse remembered the feeling of being pinned to the door, unable to escape. Too many times he'd felt that way before he'd met Gabriel. He wasn't going to let it happen again.

Jesse found the kit, and began mentally prepping himself for the painful task ahead. Upstairs, he caught his reflection in the bathroom mirror. What a face Reaper had left him with, but it could have been worse.

Jesse chuckled darkly.

_Guess I really dodged a bullet_


End file.
